Interview with Sophie Ward

There are some women whose presence feels like an open door - into deeper creativity, into truth, into a way of living that is both tender and wildly awake. Sophie Ward is this personified. A writer, storyteller, creative, entrepreneur and mother whose life inspires. Sophie carries an old - soul wisdom that is equal parts mystical and disarmingly human. Her work invites us to slow down, listen inward, honour our longings, and meet both beauty and grief with open arms. It's an honour to welcome Sophie to Naturel Haus for this intimate conversation. 

Can you take us back to the beginning - how did your creative path first unfold, and what threads have led you here?

Oh! I can’t possibly take you back to the beginning, because I can’t say when I began. I feel my soul goes back very far. Was it amongst the red dust under a blue bowl of night? In the north of Europe beside an unforgiving sea? In this lifetime, I was born in Australia to descendants of England, and as a child I always knew I was magic. When I found writing, I felt I could finally pour it all out through my fingertips. 

I saw your post on instagram recently about the importance we place on what one 'does for a living' vs just living - with that in mind, how would you like to introduce yourself to our audience - what feels true and appropriate for you to share? I love the sentiment too but dare I ask for a quick bio?

I’m a writer, which always feels so strange to say, as if it doesn’t quite capture the magnitude of who I am and what I feel I want to do with words. Storyteller gets closer, but that feels like an odd way to introduce myself too. I feel most myself when I’m creating or co-creating. And it could be anything: bread, a candlelit dinner, a novel, a poem, a child, a dream. 

Your roots are in Western Australia, and now you move between California, New York, and France, is that right? How has place shaped you - as a woman, a writer, and a mother?

Each place has informed a piece of who I am, and becomes braided into my soul the way children do. I feel most myself on western coasts by the ocean, where the sun sets at the sea. I can’t live without the sea. I was born in Western Australia, to an English expat mother and Australian father. We spent a lot of time roadtripping up and down the coast, which was both pristine and vast. Because of our mothers’ ties to Europe, we also went back to both England and France several times in our childhood. The first time I spent extended time in France I couldn’t stop writing, it ignited something ancient in me.

I lived in New York for three years in my early twenties after moving there when my sisters’ boyfriend died. I had planned to go for a week but I stayed for three months. New York inspired me immensely as a writer. It filled me up with so many sights, sounds and smells, but it was also challenging as all cities can be. Somehow I knew I needed to be there. I met my husband (also Australian) in Soho on a cobblestoned street three years later. I told him I loved him a week after we met, and we immediately left the city for nature, getting married three months after that. We’ve been together almost fifteen years now. I think our souls both realized we were meant to stay in the city until we met each other. 

We now live in a small mountain town called Ojai, which lies in a mountain valley lined with orange and avocado orchards. In the spring the whole valley smells like orange blossoms. When the sun sets the mountains turn pink because of its unique east-west orientation and the copper in the rocks. It’s a really magical place to raise our family, but we still feel riddled with wanderlust and sometimes ponder where our next port of call might be… 

France appears often in your story. What does your mother’s home there mean to you, and how has your time in France influenced your sense of the everyday, of ritual, and the art of living?

Our mother was born in England and had a French pen friend during elementary school. They have remained friends their entire life. When they were young they dreamed that they would one day live in neighboring villages. My mum then met her Australian husband and moved to the most isolated capital city in the world (Perth) to raise four kids, and it didn’t seem like their dream would materialize. Then one day while visiting them in France she saw an old rambling property a few streets away and put down an offer, thinking they wouldn’t accept it. She had to call our Dad soon after and tell him that she’d just bought a house in France! It is in the same village as her French best friend, her pen friend from childhood. Such an inspiring story of manifestation and the way dreams can come true in the most roundabout ways. 

I find the most beauty in France in the landscapes. There are so many insects, birds, creatures. It’s very alive (I suspect this has something to do with their ban on neonicotinoids.) It also has a much slower pace. When I was a teenager I found this infuriating and insufferable. Now it’s much more welcome! 

Naturel Haus was born from my own struggle with unexplained infertility and when I was in the thick of it, I felt deeply alone and had so few people to look to but you were one of those few, so bravely sharing your struggles with secondary infertility. Firstly, thank you for sharing back then - to be able to share with that level of vulnerability before you know how your story will go, must've been so hard! We are very focused on bringing community to anyone who feels alone and is going through something similar to us here. Can you share what that season was like for you, and what helped you through it - were there any rituals, anything you did to survive the ongoing pain when you didn't know what the future held?

It was the longest and most difficult time of my life. I’ve never been so beside myself with grief, with longing, with confusion and sorrow. We had one child so easily, and then our second took six long years and four rounds of IVF. The things that got me through it were probably just feeling the feelings fully, allowing myself to grieve and be angry with god, and writing poetry. Over time I found I could choose: the thoughts and beliefs that would cause me more sorrow and pain, or the words that might soothe me. I began reaching for higher ideas and putting words to the depths of my sorrow. In retrospect, they are some of the best poems I’ve ever written. Painting and drawing also helped me express what I was feeling. I adore words but there are some emotional landscapes that simply cannot be explained with words. You can see some of my paintings here:  https://www.sophiewardkoren.com/art

Was there a moment of surrender or insight that transformed how you related to the struggle?

At some point I began to see myself in the center of a huge labyrinth. I had been going down endless paths, doubling back, finding dead ends, and so on. In my vision I was in the center of this labyrinth at the foot of a huge stone door. I was exhausted, crumpled at the base of it, still trying to get in. When I saw myself like that I decided I didn’t need to live my life like this anymore. I had been doing a lot of work with deservingness and worthiness (through To Be Magnetic), listening to self hypnoses, and I’d finally decided that I deserved more than that. I deserved a life of joy and peace. 

So I turned away from the door and noticed there were multiple other paths. 

I could have one child, and spoil him completely, travel to exotic locations and focus on my writing. Or, I could use a donor egg. I began to open myself to the adventure of other possibilities, which had me grip less to the way I wanted things to go. A few days after this, we FaceTimed with our IVF doctor who said “I know the last cycle was disappointing, but I don’t think you need to do a donor egg. I believe we can use your eggs. I want to try a new protocol with you, it’s called DuoStim, because it involves two stimulations and two egg retrievals in one month. It often produces higher quality eggs and higher quantity. And if it doesn’t work, I’ll pay for it.” 

We had just been through two unsuccessful rounds, each costing $25K, and didn’t feel like we could afford to risk another round. This incredible offer was so unexpected and such a gift, I cried in disbelief and we began immediately. During this same time our cat gave birth to six kittens, and we did one of the egg retrievals on Easter Sunday = easter eggs! Everything felt very auspicious after six long years ni that labyrinth. I do truly believe that once I had finally learned the energetic signature of real surrender, the door opened for me. Everyone says “just relax” or “let go” to people who want to get pregnant, and I always despised them for that, because it makes it seem so trite and easy. When I fully let go of having it go my way, that was when things shifted for me. 

You built such a strong foundation in postpartum care with Milk + Seed - nourishing new mothers through food and support - while at the same time privately navigating secondary infertility. That juxtaposition must have been incredibly relentless. In light of that experience, what forms of nourishment or support do you feel are most essential for women moving through infertility today?

It was very, very difficult. My business relied on people getting pregnant and having babies, so I began to resist, wanting to protect myself from it. I ended up closing the business to focus on IVF, and immediately began having dreams of my daughter (which I had never had before.) I’d say the most important forms of nourishment and support for women moving through infertility today are circles of honest, safe sharing and communities where they feel understood and not alien. I always felt isolated and alone, like there was something irreparably wrong with me. It took a lot of inner work to overcome that feeling and realize I’m worthy regardless of the experiences I have or the cards I’m dealt. 

If you could gift one piece of wisdom to women walking through infertility right now, what would it be?

Don’t give up. Give in. What that means is don’t give up on your dreams of motherhood, but give in to the way the universe seems to be flowing for you. Don’t stop turning over every stone and trying every angle of conception, but do give in to the direction the universe seems to be sending you. Often there’s a big lesson and a huge gift in our greatest challenges. Don’t miss out on that gift, because no matter what happens, the gift is something you can always receive, and the gift will light up your life no matter how the story ends. 

You're such a beautiful writer and I love everything you do and share. Your writing always feels both magical and grounding. How do you approach creativity and the craft of writing - do you see it as discipline, ritual, or something more mysterious? 

It’s all of those things, and a non-negotiable part of my self care. I think when you start to understand how important creativity is for the soul, you know you need to put strong boundaries around it. When I don’t write, I become very unpleasant to be around, so I make time for it! Nowadays I don’t ever really know what I’m going to write about. I set aside time, but then the content is a mystery. I might have a general idea, or a project I’m working on, but the process is more about listening and opening up to something beyond me, than it is about thinking something up from within me. I am the anchor, but something else is embodying the magic. I’m here in service of that. 

Where do your best ideas tend to arrive - through ritual, chaos, or the in-between moments?

A lot of my ideas come from conversations with people — perhaps a phrase I hear that bothers me, or something I want to challenge. I’ll often just ask my guides what to write about and the answer will come. Again, it’s about listening to something beyond the noise of the everyday. There’s a current of creativity that is always available to us if we can just drop down the well. 

You’ve launched a new mentorship course for writing - what called you to create this, and what transformation do you hope it will offer? Many creatives wrestle with self-doubt or feeling “not enough.” How do you guide people through that?

It has been such a joy to hold this space. I realized I had been constantly pointing to bigger mountains, believing I needed to climb something else, instead of turning around and teaching people how I climbed the mountain I was already standing on. We all have so much wisdom to share from the paths that we have walked and the mountains we are standing on. 

On the topic of self-doubt and imposter syndrome, I like to tell people there is only one you. No one sees the world like you do, no one has had your experiences. How many centuries do we have behind us, and how many incredible pieces of art and films and stories have been told (and retold) continually…. and then how many more centuries do we have ahead of us? 

Why not you? Every artist and creative person you admire began by making student films and writing messy first drafts and bad poems. Mary Oliver talks about how many poems she has written that were absolutely terrible. Ernest Hemingway said “the first draft of anything is shit.” So just make the thing. It’s more painful to hesitate than to jump. So just jump and learn to fly that way. The people (and inner voices) who criticize you are spectators. They aren’t in the ring making something. Ignore them. 

For someone longing to write but afraid to begin, what gentle first step would you recommend?

Morning pages. Three pages of longhand stream of consciousness writing done first thing in the morning, every day. These are a tool offered by Julia Cameron in her book The Artist’s Way, which I also highly recommend for blocked creatives. 

The way I visualize the process of writing morning pages is that we are claiming a small piece of land for ourselves to stand upon and call our own. It’s a place for you to pour everything that’s on your mind onto the page and to begin to listen to yourself. You don’t reread them, and you don’t show them to anyone. Even a few days of this process can create a renewed sense of happiness and improve your mood dramatically. (I like to write mine after meditation, tucked up in bed all cozy before I begin my day! Make them enjoyable – your artist self will thank you.) 

The French often speak of art de vivre - the art of living which is VERY on brand for Naturel Haus. What does that mean to you personally, and how do you embody it in your daily life?

Every thing we do in life is an expression of our creative sensibilities. I lean into both my discerning self and my delighted self. If something doesn’t feel right in my environment or my life, I will change it (much to my husband’s annoyance at times!). For example, I painted our pantry four times before I got the color just right. Now when I set a bowl of oranges against the pale blue, I am utterly delighted. Likewise, when I start to fill my days with things that delight me, I begin bringing more art and beauty into my life. My life then begins to nourish me on a deep level, so it’s a continually replenishing circular economy. 

What are your non-negotiable wellness practices - the rituals or habits that keep you grounded, nourished, and inspired?

Hydration, early morning sunlight (I go for a 20 minute sunrise walk every morning), weekly writing and publishing, avoiding caffeine, sugar and alcohol. I prefer to live a very sober life, because it keeps my inner windows bright and clear. I don’t like to have anything muddying the glass, so to speak. I also include a lot of soluble fiber in my diet, in the form of legumes, to keep my microbiome healthy and help with detoxification. The bean protocol was something I did for fertility in the midst  of my IVF journey. More on that here and here! 

Walk us through your morning routine - how do you set yourself up for a creative and soulful day?

I wake up with gentle music at 6am. My husband Isaac and I have a meditation practice that we do together for thirty minutes sitting up in bed, then we have a quick cuddle. That oxytocin is really nice to begin the day with. I open the curtains and get back into bed to do my morning pages, which takes about twenty minutes. When I get to the kitchen I make my favorite chickpea coffee (no stimulants at all, though I add adaptogens and mushrooms to it) and a piece of sourdough with walnut butter, then head out for a sunrise walk with our labradoodle. I love hearing the birds and seeing the sunlight through the green leaves, and greeting all the familiar people who also walk their dogs at that time. I take my daughter to her Montessori school at 8:30am, come home for a bigger breakfast and begin my day shortly after that! 

What is your most treasured ritual right now - something small but deeply meaningful?

I think it would be my sunrise walks. There are days when I don’t go, and I notice it. Early morning sunlight contains a specific balance of blue and yellow light that signals your brain to stop producing melatonin (the sleep hormone) and start producing serotonin (the “feel-good” hormone). This helps set your internal clock, improving sleep quality, energy levels, and mood throughout the day. Studies show that consistent morning light exposure helps people with seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and general low mood. Natural light exposure increases alertness and helps regulate neurotransmitters linked to focus and motivation. It also “anchors” your biological clock, leading to earlier and deeper sleep at night! Sometimes I can only go for twenty minutes, but the effects are really beneficial.

If you could go back and whisper something to your younger self, what would it be?

You’re enough, exactly as you, and no matter what happens to you. If only you could see how magnificent you are… just keep being exactly who you are, and keep shining that brilliant light of yours. 

And finally - what is lighting you up most in this season of your life, whether in your writing, your work, or your personal world? 

I’ve been really enjoying creating experiences in the 3D world. Celebrations, long table dinners, holidays, weekends away, anything that creates memories with my friends and loved ones. I’m also facilitating The Artist’s Way right now, and it’s been profound to bear witness to the subtle yet dramatic changes that occur in peoples lives from this powerful creative unblocking process. I’ll be offering another two groups in the spring, beginning February 6th (one with Australia-friendly timing!) You can learn more about that here Sophie Ward, The Artist's Way

I’ve found this work to be the most impactful process for unearthing the things we’ve kept buried, but which bring us more and more to life. We absolutely need more joyful, embodied, delighted people in the world!